Setting Up For Seccuess: Is Your Emotional Operating System Ready?
By Ellen Mossman- Glazer M.Ed. Life Skills Coach, Behavior Specialist.

Your success in working with people, and especially with your challenging loved ones, is tied to how emotionally intelligent you operate. Here is a quick primer to get you on your way to creating your own personal and productive Emotional Operating System.

10 Tips to Working With Your Emotions - Intelligently!

1. Know your feelings - and how strong they may be - before you get into action with your challenging people.

2. Make behavior decisions that you will feel proud of. Your style will be their style. "They" learn by watching you and listening to you.

3. Know what others are feeling. Understand that you may not agree.

4. Find the words to convey your feelings without denying someone else theirs.

5. Seek out the good things in a situation, even if they are microscopic or a real stretch.

6. Be persistent - appropriately! Stay on track. Back off the track when you know you will get nowhere right now.

7. Monitor your impulses. Reflect on your own thinking that won't help in the bigger picture.

8. You may need to withdraw your approval. But in the process don't withdraw the love.

9. Have tools to manage your emotions before you are swept away by them.

10. Think about how you deliver your message. What would you be feeling if you were on the receiving end? Care about the feelings of the other person. It's just the good old golden rule.

Refer to and live these 'process' steps as you work with your challenging loved ones and you will begin to see the bonus you give to yourself.

Copyright Ellen Mossman-Glazer 2005. All rights reserved. You are welcome to share or reprint this article, providing it remains as written with all contact and copyright information included along with a link to http://artofbehaviorchange.com This content is coaching and education and not intended to take the place of psychological services, where advised and appropriate.