Monthly Archives: June 2010

To keep your child feeling calm and capable at homework time, it is important to think about who they are as an individual. A child who feels capable and successful is at his best as a student and a person. Emotionally intelligent parenting at homework time involves nurturing feelings of strong self worth when the [...]
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The words you use to state your rules supply important directions for how to get somewhere. When someone gives you driving directions, can you get there with: “To get to my house go west and turn right in about 15 minutes”? Too general. Too many possible choices. Vague. A well-stated rule is clear in its [...]
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When you are trying to set rules and limits, do you get caught in a cycle of repetition, nagging and exasperation? Your words seem meaningless, you hear yourself getting louder and mention of privileges or consequences is ignored. The problem may be classic and clear-cut ‘misbehavior’ by your challenging children who know how to work the [...]
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We again visit the workplace of employer ‘Jack’ and his new employee ‘Al’ who has Asperger Syndrome. In this small informal office, Al felt discomfort and confusion with ordinary routines related to phones, break time and workplace jargon. In this next phase of our work together, we designed three customized action plans, which helped Al [...]
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These simple single-syllable words: sad, mad, and glad, are the easy first emotion words for children to use in ‘feelings talk’. Then, as they grow, and their every day vocabulary expands, the important job for parents, educators and caregivers, is to help their kids develop the awareness and the more expansive words to be emotionally [...]
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When kids come home with A’s and B’s in reading writing and math, parents feel a sense of security that their children are building the skills that will help them succeed in life. Then there is another set of important skills, which help our kids get smarter about the emotions they feel and encounter on [...]
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When you want your kids to make better decisions, and especially teens and tweens, they are not going to change until they see that what they are currently doing is not helping them. To help them refashion their vision, you can be the catalyst without being the bad guy. Use the questions that follow to [...]
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Teenagers have a lot on the go and sometimes, despite their good intentions, their goals slip away as other events steal the limelight. Following are ten tips for parents to share with their teens, to keep goals in the forefront and stay with them while life is happening in other places. 1. Put it in [...]
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Trust in the power of just one single sentence to get your child quickly back on track. When you are trying to get your children to pay better attention to their responsibilities, make a brief, very specific sentence your first and main strategy instead of revving up for the drain of debate, confrontation and consequencing. [...]
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Let’s presume you have covered these first two basic steps in your behavior change program: 1. You have worked with your child to establish The Rules and why they are important. [Rules may be specifically set out poster- style guidelines or agreements, or they may be less specifically stated but understood limits and boundaries.] 2. [...]
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