When parents and teachers say they are about to give up on their behavior modification system, it is often a straightforward matter of fine-tuning the rewards component.
Here are six questions to help you explore and improve your rewards:
1. Are the rewards you are currently using the best choices for your child? Who picked these rewards? Did your child have input? Or did you choose the rewards because you liked them? If you like the idea of the science center but your child would be thrilled with a bowling outing, which is the greater incentive to your child? Of course, introduce your child to the wonders of the science center, but not as a behavior motivator. The object of a reward is to give the child something that he will really want to strive for.
2.Are you keeping the reward a separate and very special event? If the reward for a behavior is a game of pinball, then your child plays pinball only when it has been earned according to your behavior change program and no other time. Just as an A+ is reserved for the best work, pinball games are reserved for the expected actions. If pinball is your incentive, don’t water down the reward by saying “You can play pinball if you are bored.” Find something else to overcome boredom.
3. Are you rewarding too frequently or too elaborately? When rewards come easy, the fun goes out of them. When rewards come too quick it takes the edge off the anticipation and actually tells your child you don’t expect too much. Give big, expensive rewards few and far between. Match the size of a reward to the difficulty of expectations and time it takes to earn them. Smaller rewards on a schedule where they can be earned more frequently, is best.
4. Is your child rewarded too scantily? Don’t let your child grind down in order to reach a reward. If the work is too hard for too long, your child may not even bother trying. One of the most heartbreaking scenarios in a classroom is when everyone is competing for the same thing but there is a huge span in the levels of ability. The kids left behind are usually the same kids over and over. When working with groups, vary the skills required to get to the rewards. Some kids just cannot do speed but given time, accuracy is where they shine. Make it fair and achievable for everyone.
5. Are you following through consistently? Kids are experts at knowing how they can dodge your expectations or get you to give up. If you find yourself saying, “It isn’t working!” chances are very good that you are uneven in following the specifications of your behavior change program.
6. Does your child understand exactly when and for what the rewards are earned? Go over with your child the specific actions and all the little steps in between that are expected in order to get a reward.
Final Tip: Get your child involved! Your child is your best partner in planning a well designed behavior change program.
Social Skills and Your Behavior Change Program: Troubleshooting when the Rewards Aren’t Working
Tags: discipline, rewards Leave a comment
When parents and teachers say they are about to give up on their behavior modification system, it is often a straightforward matter of fine-tuning the rewards component.
Here are six questions to help you explore and improve your rewards:
1. Are the rewards you are currently using the best choices for your child? Who picked these rewards? Did your child have input? Or did you choose the rewards because you liked them? If you like the idea of the science center but your child would be thrilled with a bowling outing, which is the greater incentive to your child? Of course, introduce your child to the wonders of the science center, but not as a behavior motivator. The object of a reward is to give the child something that he will really want to strive for.
2.Are you keeping the reward a separate and very special event? If the reward for a behavior is a game of pinball, then your child plays pinball only when it has been earned according to your behavior change program and no other time. Just as an A+ is reserved for the best work, pinball games are reserved for the expected actions. If pinball is your incentive, don’t water down the reward by saying “You can play pinball if you are bored.” Find something else to overcome boredom.
3. Are you rewarding too frequently or too elaborately? When rewards come easy, the fun goes out of them. When rewards come too quick it takes the edge off the anticipation and actually tells your child you don’t expect too much. Give big, expensive rewards few and far between. Match the size of a reward to the difficulty of expectations and time it takes to earn them. Smaller rewards on a schedule where they can be earned more frequently, is best.
4. Is your child rewarded too scantily? Don’t let your child grind down in order to reach a reward. If the work is too hard for too long, your child may not even bother trying. One of the most heartbreaking scenarios in a classroom is when everyone is competing for the same thing but there is a huge span in the levels of ability. The kids left behind are usually the same kids over and over. When working with groups, vary the skills required to get to the rewards. Some kids just cannot do speed but given time, accuracy is where they shine. Make it fair and achievable for everyone.
5. Are you following through consistently? Kids are experts at knowing how they can dodge your expectations or get you to give up. If you find yourself saying, “It isn’t working!” chances are very good that you are uneven in following the specifications of your behavior change program.
6. Does your child understand exactly when and for what the rewards are earned? Go over with your child the specific actions and all the little steps in between that are expected in order to get a reward.
Final Tip: Get your child involved! Your child is your best partner in planning a well designed behavior change program.